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Hey you.

Hey you! I’m Robyn. I love glitter, Karin Slaughter novels, coffee and my dog. I hate pineapple on pizza (wtf?!?) and people who spend all their time on their phones and not in the company of the people in the present.

This is my blog, where I discuss a passion of mine: mental health. We all need someone to listen, to understand, to care. This is a place where you can find that. I write about personal experiences of mental health, tips on loving yourself, and information on different disorders to increase awareness and tolerance. Tolerance is a rare quality, but one we should all aspire to have more of.

Read my posts, comment your experiences, ask me questions, show some love. The world has enough dicks, so be kind guys, always.

Love,

Robyn x

 

Helping Someone Who Won’t Admit They Need It

Evening all,

It is midnight as I write this. I’ve had a pretty shitty day and I need to vent a bit.

Tonight, someone whom I love very much and care about deeply ‘confessed’ to me that they often think about ending their own life and struggle with their self worth, confidence, and in finding their purpose in life. I write ‘confessed’ because they feel like it was a confession – but it shouldn’t have negative connotations the way it does.  I have never once noticed that they struggle with something like this, and I usually spot it very easily in other people. Call it a flaw or call it a quality of mine, but I usually find the suffering in others quickly because I know what to look for from my own. However, with this person I have never noticed. And it has broken my heart.

This person means a great deal to me – they make me feel alive when I want to be the very opposite. I can’t look at them without smiling, and I trust them with absolutely everything I could ever need to confide in them about. But I never spotted their depression and anxiety – and it got me questioning the person I am.

I scoured WordPress looking for some articles on here, trying desperately to find someone who has also failed to spot this in a loved one, and came across an article on concealed depression by ‘discovering sooz’. It lists 15 attributes of someone who suffers from concealed depression. Said loved one of mine, fits every single bullet point on the list – they are talented but don’t see it/struggle with finding their purpose or a shred of self confidence/ consume caffeine like oxygen/ have struggled with drug abuse in the past/ go days without eating and hardly sleep a wink. They fit the bill, so how did I not notice?

I then thought back to previous depressive episodes of mine, but only the really bad ones. The heavy heart, constant migraines, permanently exhausted but unable to sleep, weight loss episodes. The ones that had me lying in bed at night crying about how the noise never stopped and how I just wanted it all to be over. The ones that eventually lead to the not crying, which was somehow worse (if you know, you know). And despite having my death planned out, my close friends never noticed, let alone my parents whom I actually lived with. And then I realised – we are MASTERS of disguise! We zip up our grinning masks in the morning and pretend life is great and that we have our shit together. It is difficult to spot in others, because the chances are its hidden away in the depths of the person, rather than sitting proudly on the surface like a shiny new toy.

These people need to be told that it’s okay, and that they are not alone. But how can they be told this if nobody knows they need to hear it? My solution, and believe me I have thought this over in a lot of depth tonight, is to just tell everyone. Show your support to everyone. Compliment someone – tell them they are brilliant at their job or that you have always admired their kindness! If you don’t like someone, just be pleasant. Stick up for those who might not have the strength to do it themselves. Go out of your way, every single day, to be kind. Kindness costs nothing, but can mean everything to someone.

And to those of you who do suffer from depression, anxiety, low self worth, anything at all… Don’t be ashamed. It is not a flaw, it is not a disease. It is who you are and it is nothing that needs to be hidden. It does not need to define you, but it doesn’t need to be your dirty little secret either. Ask for help when you need it, and always prioritise yourself.

I know this is a rambling post and probably doesn’t make much sense but basically I want everyone to know that they are not alone in how you feel, you just need to search depression here to know that. Be kind, be thoughtful, and go out your way to do something nice for someone. Make sure your loved ones, and even your not so loved ones, know you are there for them.

Love, Robyn x

Depression does not make you a monster

Couldn’t have worded it better myself – ‘ignore the depression not the person’. x

Sara in LaLaLand

Do you ever feel like as soon as you mention the word depression, the person you tell it to flees as if you’re a terrifying monster in an old school, low budget horror movie?

I only just noticed recently that this is the case. People tend not to know how to deal with me when I mention I’m feeling depressed and even when I explain to them that all I need is acknowledgment that it is apparent and just to go about their day as if it was any other day and not letting the fact I am in a depressive state go to the forefront of the day, then everything will be okay.

For some reason nobody I have asked to do this will do it. They take on my depressive state and I spend most of that day worrying and trying to make them feel better instead of…

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My Experience

Good day folks.

Today has mostly been spent in jeans and a hoodie, drinking coffee and doing sweet eff all. Bliss. I am currently sitting in said outfit, drinking coffee and chewing my theoretical writer’s pen trying to work out how to word this post. And then I thought – f*@k it – so lets go.

My experience with anxiety started when I was very young. I used to tell my mum I was having ‘deja vu’ – I felt panicky and overwhelmed, and something just didn’t feel right. If I was around my mum it was okay because she could just hold my hand until it passed – that human contact always seemed to help. But when I had this deja vu when I was alone, or with people that really just didn’t understand, it took longer to pass and I felt more panicky. It’s only as I have gotten older that I’ve realised that this feeling is not deja vu as my eight year old self may have first thought, but actually it’s a panic attack. This is a real  thing – a horrible, debilitating thing. You ever tried to explain to someone who has never experienced one how horrible a panic attack is? It’s pretty hard. You instantly sound like you’re whining and seriously over exaggerating: ‘oh poor little old me’.

The funny thing about panic attacks is that when you’re with the right person/people and know the right breathing techniques, they aren’t that big a deal. But finding these people and remembering to breathe through it is difficult.

Here are my top tips on powering through one:

  1. Breathe. In through your nose for 5. Out through your mouth for 5.
  2. Focus on a spot in the room, the garden, wherever. Concentrate on this spot when you are breathing.
  3. Try and clear your mind of everything but the thought of the air you are breathing in. Ride it out.
  4. Remember – panic attacks always pass.

For all you lucky peeps out there who don’t have panic attacks though, please try and be tolerant of those who do. It isn’t a made up, attention seeking craze; they are not drama queens; they are not over reacting. Squeeze their hand and remind them to breathe. Tolerance is a rare quality in this day and age, but it is a beautiful one. Be kind.

Love,

Robyn x

 

 

 

Why I Am Here

Hey you.

Welcome to my blog. I’m Robyn, I’m 18 years old and I feckin love glitter. I also love coffee, Karin Slaughter novels and my dog, Baxter. I have a weird love for cheesy quotes and have an all-consuming love for eating.

I’ve started this blog because I have a passion about mental health. I care about this issue so much and feel like it is something that needs to become more talked about and less of a taboo. We all have our dark days where we need someone, and we could all do with becoming far more educated on it, myself included. I want this to be a place where we can come to learn, to understand, but most importantly, to know that you are not alone. Because even if we are all alone, we’re all together in that too.

So please, read away. Educate yourself. Attempt to understand. Take some advice for yourself or a friend. Know you are not alone. Some of these articles will be written with personal experience in mind, or with experiences I have had with friends and family.

Have a coffee and cuddle your dog – it makes things better I swear! And if you don’t have a dog of your own, I might loan you mine.

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives have yet to come.”

With love,

Robyn x